Four things all young women should know

Ignorance and stupidity reign today over our youth. I do not blame young people for that, because deep down they are victims of the Revolution, which has brainwashed them with thousands of hours of subversive television programs; with movies and pop music that exalt evil and ridicule good; and with an education system that teaches that what used to be right is now wrong and vice-versa. I am not a psychologist and I do not consider myself an expert in almost anything, but I write this because I am a teacher and I am a father. Day by day I see my students preparing themselves for unhappiness in this world and eternal misery in the other. I do not want to sound overly pessimistic, but the path that you choose when young determines your destiny to a great extent, and the path that the majority chooses is the wrong path. As a father I try to protect my children from the harmful influences of society, and in the event that it is impossible to totally isolate them, my tactic is to inoculate them at an early age against the poison that they will be administered. Ever since my DAUGHTERS were very little (the dangers for boys are different), I  have told them these four things, which I think every young woman should hear. They say that experience is a comb that life gives you when you have gone bald. I am not young anymore. In my youth I made mistakes that I regret, but I cannot go back in time and change that. All I can do is share this comb that life has given me, in the form of advice, so that it may be useful to others.

1. Your virginity is a treasure that you must guard.

Only in our post-Christian, atheist, Western society is virginity considered a nuisance that one should be rid of as soon as possible. All cultures of all eras, except our own, have accorded great value to virginity, especially female virginity. Since my daughters were very young I have told them that they have to stay pure, because God wants them that way. I do not go into details, because it is not necessary and I want to preserve their innocence. I try to talk to them in terms that they can understand. I tell them that if they were dressed in a beautiful, white First Communion dress, they would not dream of walking along muddy paths, because they would get dirty. They would walk on paved roads, being very careful where they tread. I make them understand that this is what must be done to stay pure, to avoid offending God. If they form bad friendships and frequent places where vice abounds, it is almost impossible that their purity is not stained by the mud of sin.

I tell them that they have a priceless treasure. If they find a good man, they can marry him and give him their treasure. I tell them that there are also women who are called to the religious life, and in that case they do not give their treasure to any man, but only to God. Once the treasure is given it cannot be taken back. It can be given once in a lifetime, no more. I tell them: "there are girls who give their treasure to any random person, a boy who means nothing in their life. This is like having a huge diamond and exchanging it for a packet of chewing gum. How silly they are!"

The media, far from conveying the true value of virginity, push the idea that girls ought to sleep with lots of boys when they are young, because that is the time to "enjoy life." In addition, they claim that without having intimate relations with a boy it is impossible to find out if there is "sexual compatibility"; in order to find the definitive partner, your "Mr. Right", you need ample sexual experience. This is just as stupid as the notion that you have to buy several houses before knowing where you would like to live, or that you have to study numerous degrees before knowing what you want to do professionally. Actually, it is precisely the opposite. Sociological research shows that the more sexual partners you have as a young person, the less likely you are to form and maintain a satisfactory and lasting relationship. For Catholics, it should not be a great surprise to read, in all the research that has been conducted on the subject, that the women who are least likely to divorce are those who marry as virgins.

God gave us intelligence, amongst other reasons, to think BEFORE acting; to understand the consequences of our actions. However, today young women hold a careless, irresponsible attitude towards relationships, and this bears a very high price. Sex has a very clear biological function: REPRODUCTION. Even if you try to escape from this reality, via contraceptive methods and abortion, human nature is designed for this function. When a young woman disassociates sex from procreation and turns it into a mere source pleasure, she is inadvertently destroying herself and becoming incapable of future relationships. In order to enhance its reproductive function, sex has a strong emotional component. God wanted the sexual union to be a kind of emotional glue between a man and a woman, to help them keep mutual fidelity and share the difficult task of raising and educating the children that arise from their relationship. It is like fixing a hook to a wall with glue; if it is a good quality glue, it will stay there for ages, but every time you unfix the hook to stick it somewhere else, the glue will be weaker, until it no longer sticks. The same thing happens with the emotional union associated with sex; with each new sexual partner the emotional bond created will be weaker, until you reach the point where a woman is totally incapable of having a lasting relationship with a man.


2. Do not wake love before its time.

This advice was given to me by a good friend when I was 19 years old, and even then I realized the wisdom in it. It is an rough quote from the Song of Solomon, which literally says:

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you stir not up, nor awake my love till she please. (Song of Solomon 8: 4)

This biblical book is essentially a discourse on the mystical marriage between Christ and His Church, represented by "the beloved." However, like almost all of Scripture, it has a double reading: in this case, the love between a man and his bride. In the same way that Jesus Christ has to wait until the end of time to marry His Church, the groom patiently waits for his wedding. In this second sense, this phrase can be understood as a warning against youthful impatience regarding courtship.

I have told my daughters that playing boyfriends and girlfriends is an exceedingly dangerous game. I have strictly forbidden them to give or receive kisses; I have warned them about inappropriate touching (they know where to hit boys who dare to fondle them); and they know they are forbidden to have a boyfriend before they finish secondary school. How can I forbid that? In the same way I can ban mobile phones or going out to night clubs. My daughters are resigned to not having a boyfriend until they finish high school, just as they are resigned to not having a mobile phone before they turn 16 or to never going out to night clubs while they live in my house. Ever since they were very young I have been telling them, so now they know they are the rules of the house and they accept them without further issue.

I have explained to them that courtship has only two purposes: to discern whether a man would be a good husband and, if so, to prepare for marriage. What is the point of having a boyfiend, if a girl is not going to be able to marry for several years, even if she wanted to? Even among young Catholics, an engagement that does not soon lead to marriage is foolish for two reasons: firstly, because it gives rise to occasions of sins such as impurity and fornication; and second, because it is emotionally draining and a complete waste of time. I tell my daughters: "When you think you are ready to get married, find a good boyfriend, not before."

Nowadays it is "normal" for girls to have boyfriends even before finishing primary school. Frankly, I see no sense in going out with a boy before being able to legally marry (in Spain the minimum age to get married is 16 years old). Recently I saw on Youtube a video of an American catholic commentator (modernist, of course), who gave advice about dating in middle school, which corresponds to ages between 11 and 14 years old. What good can possibly come from a romantic relationship between two 11-year-olds? Who really thinks that relationships of this kind benefit people in any way or give glory to God?

Nowadays children begin playing the boyfriend-girlfriend game at an increasingly early age, because nobody has taught them that love is a very serious thing. Young girls think that having a boyfriend is no more than a pastime; that sex is something you do for fun, like playing video games or chatting on your phone. Nowadays, the idea of courtship, the concept that dating is what precedes marriage, has all but disappeared from our culture. In all the television programs and films that are aimed at adolescents, relationships are trivialized, and the only message the government sends on the matter is that everyone should have "safe sex". Encouraging girls to commit fornication, as long as they use contraceptive methods, is like saying to a group of four-year-olds: "Today we are going to play with knives, but don´t worry, because we are going to be very careful". The only "safe sex" is abstinence, followed by marital fidelity.


3. Women are born rich and become poor; Men are born poor and become rich.

As soon as a girl reaches puberty and develops physically, she becomes an object of desire for the opposite sex. At 18 a girl is at her prime, and without having done anything to deserve it, just because she is young, she has the world at her feet. If she has half a brain, she will quickly realize that her beauty and the sexual attraction that boys feel for her give her power over them. If she has not received a religious education, if she has not been brought up to love the virtue of chastity, she will abuse this power. Instead of using her charms to attract a good man she can marry, a typical modern girl spends her best years flirting and sleeping with all the good-looking men she comes across, enjoying the attention they pay her, which makes her feel like a princess, without committing herself to any of them. Her youth also helps her to climb the social and professional hierarchy, and during her twenties she has far too much fun to want to think about marrying or having children.

In contrast, a boy is nobody until he finds his place in the world. At 18 a young man still has a long way to go in order to reach a position in which a woman who is considering marriage will be interested in him. But once he reaches a certain age, if he has worked hard and has some talent, the young man suddenly realizes that women view him as husband material. This is confirmed by all the surveys about the most desirable men and women carried out by fashion and beauty magazines; there are barely any women over 35 years of age and as soon as they hit 40 they disappear completely from the lists. However, there are grey haired men over 60 who are considered sex symbols by millions of women. At this feminists launch into trirades against the ingrained cultural injustices created by the female-oppressing patriarchy. But feminists forget that there is a biological reality that distinguishes the sexes: FERTILITY. While men can usually conceive children until old age, women have a much more limited fertile age. Despite all the advances in medicine and all the aberrations that are committed to get women pregnant well into their forties, the laws of nature are stubborn: it is tough for a woman over 35 to find a man who will want to marry her, because men are designed to desire young and fertile women. It has nothing to do with the patriarchy and other nonsense, but with the survival of the species.

If my daughters get married, I want them to marry young. If they find the right person, I would be happy for them to get married before they are twenty. In fact, I got married just after turning 22 (something almost unheard of today) and I do not regret it in the least, because although it is a grave mistake to awaken love before its time, it is also a mistake to wait too long. A term that has become very fashionable of late is the wall. It refers to the invisible barrier in the life of a single woman, who at the age of thirty-something realizes that her power of sexual attraction over men is plummeting. The wall causes frustration, anger and even panic in the single woman, who is desperate to find the "definitive" man, after about fifteen years of sporadic relationships and one-night stands with alpha males, with whom she had no intention of getting married. The post-wall female cries out in despair: where are all the good men? The answer is easy: "good men", ie. those with money and social status, who are willing to get married, are not interested in women who have hit the wall, because they are less attractive and have few or no years of fertility left.

Realizing that she will never marry or have children, the post-wall woman substitutes a family for half a dozen cats, becomes increasingly resentful against the world and ends her life in the loneliest, saddest way imaginable. If, instead of squandering her youth fornicating with random males, ("enjoying life", as they call it now), she had got married in her early twenties to a man who loved her, her life would have been far fuller and more satisfying. Women, with very few exceptions, have a very powerful instinct, which if frustrated can embitter their entire existence: the maternal instinct. The problem nowadays is that so much pressure is put on young women to postpone motherhood, that when they finally decide that it is time to have children, they discover that their fertile days are all but over. It is remarkable how the sooner girls begin to be sexually active, the later women decide to marry. Dissociating sex from procreation and supressing women´s natural desire for motherhood while young, have contributed to the catastrophic drop in the birth rate in the West.

I tell my daughters that the greatest thing they can do when they are older is to have children, because being a mother is the essence of femininity. Nowadays, when you ask a girl what she wants to be when she grows up, the politically correct answer is a doctor, a scientist, a lawyer, a business woman, or any other prestigious profession. If, instead of that, she replies that she wants to get married and have lots of children, people will think that she is mad, when in fact this is the best formula for a woman´s happiness. Studies show that in the West, where feminism has taken root, during the period that coincided with progress towards women's rights and their massive entry into the work place, women have become gradually LESS HAPPY. This is a fact that even the most rabidly leftist sources recognize, though they desperately seek explanations for an outcome that contradicts everything they predicted. Unlike our individualistic society, in which young women are too busy pursuing careers and partying to have children, in the Holy Scriptures a woman's desire to be a mother is a recurring theme. One of my favorite examples is that of Hannah, the mother of the prophet Samuel, who asked God for a son, and in exchange promised to give him over to the temple as soon as he was weaned. In this sense, Hannah prefigures the Virgin Mary, who gave up her Son on the Cross for the salvation of mankind. She teaches us that being a mother is a vocation that requires unconditional selflessness.


4. To choose a good man to marry, you have to use your head.

I have told my daughters countless times that they should not marry the first man who says "what beautiful eyes you have". Chosing the right husband is a crucial decision that must be based on good principles, which have nothing to do with how a girl feels towards a boy. A young woman should know the criteria that help distinguish between a man who would make a good husband and one who would ruin her life. Finally, she needs to have the wisdom to calmly examine all the available men against these criteria. These are the criteria that I want my daughters to take into account when choosing a potential husband.

• He has to be a Catholic.

St. Paul says to the Corinthians:

Bear not the yoke with unbelievers. For what participation hath justice with injustice? Or what fellowship hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath the faithful with the unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6: 14-15) 

An "unequal yoke", the phrase used in many translations, is when two oxen with unequal strengths or sizes are paired together, and instead of ploughing the earth in straight furrows, the plough goes around in circles. This passage has always been interpreted as a warning against the marriage of believers with non-believers. The Church has always discouraged the conjugal union of Catholics with non catholics, due to the difficulties that inevitably arise in all kinds of matters, especially the education of children.

In addition, today, with divorce having become the new norm, it is especially important not to marry non catholics. I tell my daughters that today a man without a strong Catholic faith will do what most men do, as soon as the going gets tough and marriage turns into an uphill journey: they will look for a younger woman and leave. When I say that he has to be Catholic, I am refering to the true Catholic faith, not the watered-down modernist version championed by Pope Francis, who openly accepts divorce, adultery and all manner of sins, except of course "rigidly sticking to the rules". A good potential husband is a man who believes what the Church has always taught, hook, line and sinker. Things can always go wrong, because in this life there are few garantees, but if from the beginning a woman does everything in her power to lay a solid foundation for her marriage, there is far less chance of it failing.

• He has to be from a good family.

Traditionally families have wanted to marry their children with people from a similar social class. This was not only in order to preserve or increase their wealth and maintain their social standing, but also for a reason that is almost always overlooked today: marital compatibility between a man and a woman is much more likely if they come from a similar socio-economic class. Although this truth is endorsed by centuries-old wisdom, in our Western egalitarian society no discrimination is allowed between social classes. For this reason the mainstream media (also known as the revolutionary propaganda apparatus) applaudes marriages between plebeians and princes, such as the current Queen of Spain, Leticia Ortiz with Philip VI. Formerly it was understood that a prince should marry a woman from the aristocracy or a foreign royal family, not only for forging alliances, but also because a woman of that sort would be better prepared to face life as a monarch. A commoner is not brought up to know how to behave like a queen. It is not only a matter of knowledge, but above all of character. We have already seen this several times with the the Queen of Spain´s public blunders. The gossip press criticizes her when she commits a faux pas in protocol, but nobody will admit that she behaves this way because she is not fit to be a queen, and that Felipe VI chose badly when he married a plebeian. In this sense, what is true for royalty and aristocracy, applies to all social classes; the more disparity, the less compatibility in marriage.

Apart from looking for a man from a social class similar to hers, a young woman should get to know the family of any potential husband. If she finds his family absolutely repulsive she should not even contemplate marrying him. Saint Alphonsus of Ligorio writes that children, as fruits of a marriage, reflect the good and bad in their parents. He quotes Our Lord, who says: "No good tree can bear bad fruit, and no bad tree can bear good fruit." Therefore, if the parents are undesirable people, a young woman should stay away from their son, because deep down he will also be undesirable. Men can play all kinds of roles, they can pretend to be someone they are not, if they are trying to woo a girl. But in the family  you see how people really are. In a family environment fake airs and graces fall flat and it is almost impossible to deceive anyone.

• His vision of marriage must be compatible with yours.

It is no use looking for a Catholic boyfriend from a good family, if he has a vision of marriage that does not fit with yours. For example, many modern girls have the idea of ​​pursuing a professional career, while a traditional man will probably want his wife to be a stay-at-home mother, taking care of the children. A girl who wants to live in a big city will feel frustrated if her husband insists on living in the country. A girl who at all costs wants to live  near her parents should not marry a military man, who will have to live in a different place every few years. It is better to discern these things BEFORE committing to a man, because once the woman marries, it is her husband who is in charge; at least, this is the traditional Catholic doctrine. If a man is not someone you would want to submit to, my advice is very clear: DO NOT MARRY HIM.

• He has to have a promising past.

This phrase, which at first glance seems paradoxical, actually hides an important lesson: to know the future of a person, the best indicator is his past. If, for example, a man has been at university for seven years, studying for a degree that normally takes four, a woman can easily predict that he will not be very successful in his future endeavours. If a young person´s resumé is full of dismissals for negligence, a woman should not bet much on his future career. If a young man has spent his youth living off his parents like a parasite, neither studying nor working to earn a wage, a girl should not believe him if he promises that from the moment they marry he will work hard and behave responsibly.

It is also important to know the sentimental history of a prospective husband. If a man has spent all his youth partying, fornicating and doing drugs, but the moment he meets a pretty young lady it turns out that he wants to settle down, there would be good reason to distrust him. Preparing well for marriage implies staying chaste and striving to acquire the Christian virtues, and if a man has never mastered his passions it will not happen by magic, just because he takes a woman to the altar. The most sensible policy for a young woman is to look for a man with a past that promises that he will be the kind of husband she wants; She should not think naively, as many young women do, that she will be able to change a man, once he is united to her in marriage. This is a huge error! A girl should never imagine how her fiancé COULD BE, but should rather look for one who is ALREADY the man she wants as a husband.